No do overs
Posted on | May 22, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I recently had to fire someone and now I’m having nightmares about it. I feel terrible. Maybe this is a sign that it wasn’t the right thing to do. Do you think I should reach out and hire the person back?
Sleepless
Dear Sleepless:
Being an adult means accepting the consequences of your actions. Sometimes it doesn’t feel wonderful, but it goes with the territory. Compassion for the person is okay but move forward, not back.
LikeAn Understanding
Posted on | May 22, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
What is friendship?
Joey
Dear Joey:
We love all our friends and each relationship is different, but in each case, there is a mutuality of respect, trust and expectations.
Custom Fit
Posted on | May 22, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
What is love? How do I know it when I feel it?
Jen
Dear Jen:
Love means the point on your head fits the hole in his. You know it because it feels right.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
Posted on | May 19, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I am very happy with the job I currently have but I often get calls from recruiters. Is it wrong to go on job interviews if I’m really not interested?
GAP
Dear GAP:
It doesn’t hurt to talk and you may stumble on something interesting or meet someone who could be useful at another time. Our only caution is keep your game face on. Nothing is more irritating to an interviewer is an interviewee who is arrogant or indifferent.
The Biggest Amateur Game in Town
Posted on | May 19, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I am expecting a baby in September and have become very concerned about my husband’s ability to take care of a newborn. He’s clumsy and absent-minded and he couldn’t even take care of our dog. He would forget to walk her and forget to feed her and was constantly stepping on her. It was horrible. I tried to get him to take baby care classes for first-time dads but he went to one and refused to go again. I think he was probably embarrassed about how bad he was at it. I am worried sick that he will drop our child or forget something vital. What do I do?
So worried
Dear S W:
Relax. See what happens. Dog care is not a try-out. Everyone (really) drops the baby. If he is not a drunk or a drug addict … give it time. We are betting he will rise to the occasion.
Private Event
Posted on | May 19, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
My best friend is expecting a baby in the fall and she seems like the least excited expectant mother I have ever met. She hardly ever talks about it – even though I always ask. She talks about her job, her search for a new house and her vacation – but says nothing about the new baby. Is there something I can do to get her more excited about this amazing event that’s about to happen?
BF
Dear BF:
Just because she isn’t talking to YOU about it doesn’t mean she isn’t excited (and scared, nervous, delighted). Mostly this is about her and the father — back off. It’s gonna be okay.
Still Answering
Posted on | May 19, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
What is Love?
Still asking
Dear Still Asking:
A good friend says “sunshine” — good enough for us.
Careful What You Wish For
Posted on | May 13, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
After many years of thinking about it, I finally decided to have some face work done. I’m very proud of myself and think it looks great. But nobody has said ONE COMPLIMENTARY THING!! Should I tell people? Maybe they’ve noticed were embarrassed to comment.
Pouty
Dear Pouty:
In our opinion, the best outcome of cosmetic surgery is that no one says ” YOU FINALLY DID SOMETHING.” No doubt you look rested, and confident, and pleased that something very nice (but private) has happened. And indeed it has.
Have Good Luck — Learn Chinese!
Posted on | May 12, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I think that people at work are laughing at me behind my back but I can’t figure out why. How do I find out what’s going on?
Butt of Joke
Dear BOJ:
Either a) You are paranoid and they ARE NOT laughing at you or b) They ARE laughing at you but there is some barrier to telling you about the situation. We remember a very hung-over young man in our Hong Kong office who walked out of the bathroom with the entire roll of toilet paper trailing behind him into a sea of giggling female Chinese associates. We imagine that the women didn’t tell him because they thought it was inappropriate. We didn’t tell him because we spoke no Chinese. Laugh along with them and wear a quizzical expression. Perhaps they will chose to communicate.
Old game/New Rules
Posted on | May 12, 2013 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I have a very young friend at work who has started to get very affection toward me — like putting his hand on my leg during a meeting or giving me a hug when we say hello or goodbye. I am 52 and he is probably in his late 20s. I can’t figure out if he thinks I’m a cougar (which would be GREAT) or if he thinks of me as his mother. How do I find out without embarrassing myself?
Would Like to Be a Cougar
Dear WLTBC:
We hear you! You can encourage him with old-fashioned signals of availability but our cougar friends advise that this game requires great restraint in the chase phase. If he is in pursuit, you must play the part of the watchful prey. Good Luck.
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