Demanding Full Attention?

Posted on | February 18, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Ever since my boyfriend got a job, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. What should I do?
Peggy

Dear Peggy:
The one thing you shouldn’t do is act jealous of his job. Working is good. Having other interests is good. Maybe you should try it.

Game of Hearts

Posted on | February 7, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Valentine’s Day is coming up and I don’t have a girl friend or a date. What do you suggest I go on that dreaded night all alone and by myself?
Lonely Heart

Dear Lonely:
We always thought that Valentine’s Day, like New Year’s Eve was for amateurs — however, if you are determined to go out, hold your head high, you may meet someone.

Irreplaceable

Posted on | February 7, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What do you do when your best friend starts to really annoy you?  I’m not sure whether she has changed or I have.  But we’ve been friends for 40 years and it’s getting to the point where I can’t stand to be around her.  She whines and complains about everything and nothing anybody does for her is good enough.  I know that I’ll never have another 40-year relationship with anybody.  But is “old” friendship really worth it?
Old Friend

Dear Old:
In a word, YES, it’s worth it.  Tell her she’s gotten to be a whiner and suggest you go out together and have some laughs! (As only really old friends can do.)

When Less Is More

Posted on | February 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have decided to get a divorce although we haven’t told anyone yet. We are still living together because we haven’t figured out all the details of our separation which is about as friendly as this kind of thing could be. Both of us feel that we should really start informing our friends but can’t quite figure out how. We don’t want to make a bigger deal of this than necessary and we certainly don’t want to have to tell the same story a hundred times. Under the circumstances, do you think that a mass email or Facebook post is acceptable?
Soon-to-Be-Ex

Dear Soon:
Email and FB does not seem like the right vehicle for this kind of info. Perhaps you should wait until you are legally separated and living apart.  Then tell a few close friends. You will be astonished at how quickly news travels.

Food Bullies

Posted on | February 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I recently decided to become a vegetarian. It’s been something that I’ve been considering for a long time and when friends ask me about it, I am honest about it and tell them that I just decided that it was the right thing to do both ethically and health-wise. Apparently, if you’re not a real activist about it, people don’t take you seriously. Friends still invite me for dinner and serve meat and expect me to eat it. More than one friend has said that since I ate meat for over 40 years, a little more won’t kill me. Should I start bringing my own food to dinner parties? Or just decline every invitation unless I get a guarantee that a vegetarian option will be available?
Meatless

Dear Meat:
No one should be pushed into eating or drinking anything they do not wish. On the other hand, we have said often that it is not the host’s responsibility to cater to your choices. Can’t you just skip the meat and eat the sides and salad and thank them very much?

A Short Question

Posted on | January 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter recently started dating someone who is abnormally short.  I mean really, really short.  I don’t mean to seem shallow but I know that short people have a harder time in this world than tall people do.  How do I convince her that somebody of average height or taller would make a much better father for their children?
Mom

Dear Mom:
If you are looking for support for your point of view, you came to the wrong place. Examine your attitudes. Perhaps short people have a hard time because of people like you.

Cultural Misfortune

Posted on | January 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Why is money so important?
$$

Dear $$:
Because people make it so.

Seasonal Woe

Posted on | January 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Recently I was at a party where the host greeted everybody with a hug and a kiss.  I thought this was sweet until I later overheard her say how sick she was and that she probably had the flu!!!  I didn’t say anything to her at the time, but now I’m thinking that I should call or send her a note and ask her to NEVER do that again.  What the heck was she thinking?  She might have infected all her friends!!!
Offended

Dear Offended:
This is why we get flu shots. Forget it.

Stick to Your Guns

Posted on | January 26, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Over the last few years, I’ve probably started to drink a bit more than I should so I decided to designate Monday and Wednesday as my “non-drinking” days.  It doesn’t seem necessary to tell this to people in advance so if I’m out somewhere and other people are drinking, I just get a diet soda.  My abstinence is met with shock and dismay that somehow I have disappointed them because I’m not the “life of the party” anymore.  I guess I was more fun when I drank more but I’m sticking to my plan.  Do I start staying home on Monday and Wednesday?
Trying

Dear Trying:
If you think you are drinking too much you probably are and “friends” who are not supportive of your efforts to dial back are not friends. Find others.

Dangerous Liaisons

Posted on | January 25, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I made the mistake of having sex with someone who works for me.  It was only once and we’ve never discussed it again.  But now, I am being forced to cut back on the size of my department and the person in question should be one of the people let go.  But I’m petrified that if I fire her, she will complain to HR and I’ll end up getting fired.  Should I avoid the situation by laying-off somebody else?  Should I talk to HR first?  Or should I just lay her off and see what happens?  I have no idea whether she is the type of person to do this  not.
Troubled

Dear Troubled:
This is a mess. If you fire her, you are certainly taking a risk. She could certainly make things unpleasant for you — or worse. On the other hand, firing someone who doesn’t  deserve it, doesn’t seem fair. Although we can’t assure you that things will work out well, we encourage the hard right decision versus the easy wrong.  Good luck.

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