Listen Deeply

Posted on | August 31, 2020 | Comments Off on Listen Deeply

Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend and I just graduated from high school and planned to go to different colleges. We had agreed that we would date other people but now that college has been cancelled I think we should go back to being exclusive but my BF things a deal is still a deal. Do you think he is being fair?

Dear Helpme:
It really isn’t about fair — its about hearing what is being said.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Posted on | August 31, 2020 | Comments Off on Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Dear Short Answers:
I have three kids who are going back to college this year, a freshman, sophomore and senior. I am petrified that at least one will get COVID. Not only could they get sick but they could bring it back home. I want to put my foot down and tell them not to go but I think they will hate me forever if I do. What should I do????
Worried Mama

Dear Mama:
If one of them gets sick you will deal with it when it occurs. Until then, be proud of three in college!


Posted on | June 28, 2020 | Comments Off on Community

Dear Short Answers:
Because of COVID, the company I work for made a decision to cut senior management salary – this was a decision from the board of directors not even from the level of President or the CEO. I’m really against it. Now, they “revisited” the policy and are going forward with another three months BUT not having it affect lower level employees which I’m against. To add insult to injury, we have this admin who is awful and even my boss thinks she’s over compensated. I talked to my two supes today and they disagreed and felt that I/we should all be thankful just to have jobs, and that I am too “emotional” about it. Help?

Dear Under:
We have all had very little experience in thinking about the common good. Prosperity allowed most Americans to take care of themselves and made those that could not invisible or an object of pity. First attempts at taking care of the community be it the workplace or where we live are bound to be clumsy. Hang in. Be as kind and generous as you can manage.

Leaving the Nest (Again)

Posted on | June 15, 2020 | Comments Off on Leaving the Nest (Again)

Dear Short Answers:
When the virus started I decided to quarantine with my mother. Even
though she is 76, she is in great health and does fine on her own but I just wanted to make sure. Well, three months later I am going crazy!! She has become so dependent upon me to do everything for her I fear that she will not be able to live alone after this is all over. I can’t just walk out the door because she will be all alone but I need some space and she needs some independence. What do I do?

Dear D:
Sounds like you should have a talk with your mom. Tell her its time for you to leave, and ask how you can make the transition easier.

Call Often (and Frequently)

Posted on | June 5, 2020 | Comments Off on Call Often (and Frequently)

Dear Short Answers:
My father has been in an assisted living facility for about three years. He lives far from here and I didn’t really visit him very often. Now of course I can’t visit because of the virus and I feel so extremely guilty.  The home where he lives told me that I can come to visit if I go into quarantine for two weeks after I arrive and again for two weeks after our visit. That means I have to leave my family for over a month and could potentially put them all at risk. One day I want to jump on a plane and go visit my dad and the next I just want to hide under my bed. What should I do? This is driving me absolutely crazy.
Guilty and Stuck

Dear G&S:
Call and write as often as you can. Calls don’t need to be long or “important.” We have learned through our own experience as well as that of others that a few minutes on FaceTime (while you’re cooking dinner) on a frequent basis makes a bigger difference than you might think. Even if you need to enlist help at his facility..

STOP (in the Name of Love)

Posted on | May 22, 2020 | Comments Off on STOP (in the Name of Love)

Dear Short Answers:
I live in a small beachside town in Florida and we have been very lucky to have almost no virus cases in this area. About a month ago, my son and his wife and their two children decided to move out of Boston and stay with me here since they can work from home now. It was fine at first but now I am going crazy. They refuse to let me leave the house (I am over 70 years old but very healthy) even though they go grocery shopping and take their children to the beach. Before they arrived I had a great routine of walking with a friend every morning for 2 hours, having coffee with a friend (at a safe distance) and I would even have a glass of wine with a friend on her front porch.  They won’t let me do any of that and claim that it is for my own good. It’s MY house and it’s MY life.  How do I handle this? I can’t kick them out but I can’t live like this. Help!

Dear Suffocated:
Hahahaha. There appears to be a lot of this going around — kids who attempt to restrict their parents activity in the name of love. Wonder where they got that idea?

Grace Under Pressure

Posted on | May 22, 2020 | Comments Off on Grace Under Pressure

Dear Short Answers:
I am “quaranteaming” with a few friends and have been since early March. It was fun at first but I’m not sure that I picked the right group. I’ve brought up the subject that maybe we should split up and find new groups and they were furious calling me a traitor and stuff like that. Since this quarantin may gone on for months or years, are we really stuck with the group we started out with FOREVER??
Over It

Dear Over It:
EVERYONE is over-exposed these days. Our advice: minimize drama and apologize frequently.

If in Doubt, Moderate

Posted on | May 22, 2020 | Comments Off on If in Doubt, Moderate

Dear Short Answers:
Is GUM bad for your teeth?

Dear Love:

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Posted on | May 22, 2020 | Comments Off on Curb Your Enthusiasm

Dear Short Answers:
I am actually enjoying the restrictions that the pandemic has required but no one wants to hear about it. Should I pretend I’m miserable like everyone else?
Loving It

Dear Loving It:
Goody goody for you. You don’t have to pretend, but you could turn down your jubilation.

Recovery RX

Posted on | May 10, 2020 | Comments Off on Recovery RX

Dear Short Answers:
I am a recovering alcoholic and I have to say that online cocktail parties are the best thing that ever happened to me since going sober. I can have fun with my drinking friends while they drink but not have to sit in a bar (which I can’t do) and not be tempted by people physically drinking around me. My friends are all dying to go into a real bar and drink together. How can I convince them to keep this up online?
Seriously Sober

Dear Sober:
Glad the online party works for you. We suspect that it will be quite a while until people feel comfortable congregating in bars. Perhaps others will discover that the comforts of home are more relaxing than the inherent stresses of in person encounters.

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