Don’t Get Angry, Get Even

Posted on | November 26, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I know for a fact that as a woman I make less money than the men at work who have exactly the same job. I have talked to HR but they deny that this is true and of course refuse to tell me what the other people make.  Should I keep complaining and stick it out or quit and find a place that understands women should get paid the same as men?
Pissed Off

Dear PO:
You have made your point and your company has answered.  Find a place that values your contribution equally to that of a man’s and go there as fast as you possibly can.

Matter of Life and Death

Posted on | November 19, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I am so afraid that my niece is into seriously heavy drugs but my sister (her mother) refuses to listen to me. Is there anything else I should be doing to try to help or do I just need to stay out of this horrible situation?
Scared Auntie

Dear Scared:
We think you should blow the whistle again. And again until somebody listens. Is there a dad around? An uncle? A teacher or clergy? Have you spoken to your niece to let her know you are on to her? If you are correct, inaction could be disasterous. Please understand that everyone’s first instinct is likely to be “shoot the messenger” but you have to decide how far you are prepared to go. Good luck.

Wrong Issue

Posted on | November 19, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have had dogs our entire married life but now that we are retired I would like to travel more and taking dogs with us is not always a good option. As our current dogs get older and more frail, my husband wants to get a new puppy but I am adamantly opposed.  I know that we can kennel them when we travel but that is still limited not to mention expensive.  Am I wrong to feel this way?
Sue

Dear Sue:
We don’t think this is just about dogs.  Could it be that your husband is not that interested in travel and dogs at home is a really good excuse not to travel? Perhaps that is what you should be discussing with hubby.

Sorry

Posted on | November 19, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that when this election is over women will finally have real equal rights? Or is it going to get even worse?
Getting Nervous

Dear Nervous:
Well, now the election is over, and we think it is likely to get worse.

Constructing Happiness

Posted on | November 19, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I’ve started to de-friend everybody I know on Facebook who posts negative comments about anything — politics, family, life, anything. Now I only have about five friends left.  Is that wrong?
Friend Poor

Dear Poor:
Why don’t you just stay off FB for awhile. Delete it if necessary. We have.

Outlook for the Future: Change Ahead

Posted on | November 19, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
It’s the holidays again and I’m already upset. My family is all distant and each have their reasons for being unavailable. But I am! What to do?
Still Available

Dear available:
It depends on what “available means.”  If they are unavailable for travel, you can do the traveling. If they are unavailable for “same old same old,” then think up a new format. And if they are just plain unavailable, then it probably means they don’t want to see you. ;(

When More Is More

Posted on | November 19, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What should I get my mother-in-law for Christmas? She has everything!
DIL

Dear DIL:
Don’t be lazy! If she has “everything,” then you have a lot of clues about what she likes. Study the problem. Enjoy the solution.

Laugh and the World…

Posted on | November 3, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
As I’ve gotten older, I find that it’s easier and easier to complain and whine and harder and harder to stay positive. I choose to be positive but so many friends my age do not.  As a result, I’ve simply started to avoid the ones who depress me (and foster my own negativity).  Should I tell them why I am avoiding them?  Or just keep it to myself and hope that one day they change their outlook on life and we can be friends again?
Hanging In

Dear Hanging:
We hear you. With old friends it’s always worth another try. But lead by example — a sermon is rarely appropriate from laymen.

Throw Out the Rest

Posted on | November 3, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
How much candy should I let my kids have at Halloween?
Mom

Dear Mom:
Awww, you know the answer to this one.

Re-classified

Posted on | October 22, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I am finding all the public dialogue about sexual assault very troubling. The incidents described by the women who are coming forward are very familiar to me but my generation never dared call it “assault” — we just accepted it and tried to stay out of the way of men like Trump. Now I feel ashamed. What should I do?
Aging Auntie

Dear AA:
We so get that!! Talk about it with your peers .  They will get it too, and you will instantly feel better.

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