It’s Personal

Posted on | September 14, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
How many bras and underpants should one have at any one time?
Joy

Dear Joy:
Well, there are many ways to think about this — but lets start with one for everyday of the week (labeled, or not, that’s a matter of taste) and work up or down from there.

1 person likes this post.

The Answer Is Yes or No

Posted on | September 14, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear  Short Answers:
Is it rude for people at work to collect money for their children’s charities?  Even if it’s a good cause, I feel like I am giving money “anonymously” because I have never even met the person who is collecting the funds.
$?$?

Dear $?$?:
Understand. However we don’t think it’s rude.  If you REALLY want to connect with the kid and/or charity, then ask for more information. If you are just looking for a way out, you don’t need to get in a huff about saying “No thank you, I don’t choose to give at this time.”

Huh?

Posted on | September 14, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
When a person sends a thank-you note, are you supposed to send a note back?  To me, that seems stupid but sometimes when I send a thank-you note, I get a note back that says, “thank you for your very kind note.”  That kind of nonsense could go back & forth forever!!!
EKR

Dear EKR:
If you get a “thank you” for your “thank you” then you must have written an exceptional “thank you.” Take a bow (privately, in your own home) and forget it.

Exceptionalism

Posted on | September 14, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My partner and I are both over 60, gay and have no children.  When we were younger, all our friends were having kids so we didn’t see much of them and when we did, all they talked about was their children so that wasn’t very interesting.  When their kids grew up and left home, we re-connected and started to develop strong friendships again.  Unfortunately, they’re now all having grandkids!!! Which, apparently, are the most important and fascinating human beings in the world.  We can plan a dinner or movie date for months in advance, but it gets broken at the last minute when the kids call and need an emergency babysitter (probably so THEY can go out to dinner).  Do I need to find new friends or is this normal behavior in America?
Bob’s the Uncle

Dear Bob:
You need new friends.  Or tell the old ones that you need to be a priority. We don’t like any of the “normal” behaviors that routinely assume that their choices (this includes work, dates, children, grandkids) are more valid than yours.

Since You Asked

Posted on | September 7, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What’s the best pick-up line to get a girl’s attention in a bar?
Joe

Dear Joe:
“Tell me about you…”  Then listen! It’s a show stopper.

The Formerly Sartorial

Posted on | September 7, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband decided that since he retired last year, he doesn’t need to shave, shower or wear clean clothes every day.  He’s not lazy.  He plays golf, works in the yard, visits the grandkids, etc. etc.  He just doesn’t like what he calls “maintenance functions.”  Should I make a big deal about this or hope that it’s just a phase and that soon he will get tired of being dirty and start cleaning himself again?
Kinda Like Good Grooming

Dear Kinda Like:
We couldn’t agree with you more! However we have known many (mostly men, but not exclusively) who have equated retirement from work with the end of  basic fashion and even hygienic standards.  Some if it is confusion — if not a jacket and tie, then what? But the answer is surely and absolutely not the abdication from reasonable standards — they just need to be re-interpreted.  You can help! Tell him he needs a new wardrobe for his new life and it’s important to you because you still think he’s VERY HANDSOME!

Take Your Chances

Posted on | September 5, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I’m at that stage of life when one by one my friends are getting sick and dying off.  I’m not ready do die myself (not by a long shot!) but I also don’t want to be the last man standing, if you know what I mean.  How do I make younger friends without appearing like a lecherous or desperate old man?
Getting On

Dear On:
Making friends based on date-of-birth, dental records or latest health reports seems both desperate and a titch vulgar. Try screening for like sensibilities — it is the only answer.

Pitiful Her

Posted on | September 5, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What’s the right way to compliment a woman who looks especially nice at work?  The other day I said, “My goodness you look terribly nice today” and she replied “What do you mean by that?  Don’t I look nice the other days?”  Should I just give up and keep my compliments to myself or is it possible to say something nice to a woman and not get yelled at?
Bill

Dear Bill:
Strangely enough, there are some women who, in spite of great parenting, a fine education and many successful life experiences. have not learned to gracefully accept a compliment.  Feminist paranoia notwithstanding, we believe the problem is entirely hers.  We wish you many smiling recipients.

Good Things Get Better, Bad Get Worse

Posted on | August 29, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I’m well past 50 years old but my mother still has the ability to make me feel like an incompetent fool every time I talk to her. Nothing I do is ever right — or certainly not the way she would have handled something.  Would it be wrong of me to simply stop talking to her?  No matter how hard I try, our relationship just gets worse and worse every day.
Honey

Dear Honey:
We get it.  If you can walk away — do so.  But given the power she apparently has over you, we doubt that this is a sustainable solution. Seek help.

Wasting Her Time

Posted on | August 29, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I have been going out with a girl for about two years and I get the feeling that she wants to start talking about marriage.  I’m not ready for marriage and I wouldn’t really consider it with her anyway.  Should I just keep ignoring her hints and change the subject?  Or do I really need to just tell her no way!!
John

Dear John:
Yes, you really need to tell her “no way.”

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