When Alcoholics Drink

Posted on | October 23, 2020 | Comments Off on When Alcoholics Drink

Dear Short Answers:
I know my friend is a recovering alcoholic because she told me. Recently she has confessed that she has a drink from time to time. Is she telling me because she wants me to intervene in some way? Is this a cry for help? 
Worried

Dear Worried:
This sounds like trouble. Why don’t you ask her if she wants to talk about it? If she says no, it would not be impolite to suggest she look for someone she feels comfortable talking this decision over with.

Everybody Knows

Posted on | October 23, 2020 | Comments Off on Everybody Knows

Dear Short Answers:
I am nearly overwhelmed by a feeling of foreboding — I hear the scary music all the time. I don’t know why everyone isn’t terrified- climate change, Corona virus and Trump is the perfect storm! Why isn’t everyone terrified?
Scaredy-Cat

Dear Cat:
We believe everyone is terrified — but only some of us are able to say so.

Smile More, Speak Less

Posted on | October 23, 2020 | Comments Off on Smile More, Speak Less

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter is so crazy in love with her babies she doesn’t see that some of their behavior is less than darling. Should I say something?
Grandma x

Dear Grandma:
No.

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Covid Fatigue

Posted on | October 23, 2020 | Comments Off on Covid Fatigue

Dear Short Answers:
It seems to me that people have gotten careless about mask wearing and social distancing. I am worried. I don’t feel comfortable yelling at my friends but it is getting so I don’t want to be around them. What to do?
Masked

Dear Masked:
We have noticed that too. But ignore Public Health recommendations at your own peril, especially as it gets colder and more people go inside.

Listen Deeply

Posted on | August 31, 2020 | Comments Off on Listen Deeply

Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend and I just graduated from high school and planned to go to different colleges. We had agreed that we would date other people but now that college has been cancelled I think we should go back to being exclusive but my BF things a deal is still a deal. Do you think he is being fair?
Helpme

Dear Helpme:
It really isn’t about fair — its about hearing what is being said.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Posted on | August 31, 2020 | Comments Off on Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Dear Short Answers:
I have three kids who are going back to college this year, a freshman, sophomore and senior. I am petrified that at least one will get COVID. Not only could they get sick but they could bring it back home. I want to put my foot down and tell them not to go but I think they will hate me forever if I do. What should I do????
Worried Mama

Dear Mama:
If one of them gets sick you will deal with it when it occurs. Until then, be proud of three in college!

Community

Posted on | June 28, 2020 | Comments Off on Community

Dear Short Answers:
Because of COVID, the company I work for made a decision to cut senior management salary – this was a decision from the board of directors not even from the level of President or the CEO. I’m really against it. Now, they “revisited” the policy and are going forward with another three months BUT not having it affect lower level employees which I’m against. To add insult to injury, we have this admin who is awful and even my boss thinks she’s over compensated. I talked to my two supes today and they disagreed and felt that I/we should all be thankful just to have jobs, and that I am too “emotional” about it. Help?
Signed,
Underappreciated

Dear Under:
We have all had very little experience in thinking about the common good. Prosperity allowed most Americans to take care of themselves and made those that could not invisible or an object of pity. First attempts at taking care of the community be it the workplace or where we live are bound to be clumsy. Hang in. Be as kind and generous as you can manage.

Leaving the Nest (Again)

Posted on | June 15, 2020 | Comments Off on Leaving the Nest (Again)

Dear Short Answers:
When the virus started I decided to quarantine with my mother. Even
though she is 76, she is in great health and does fine on her own but I just wanted to make sure. Well, three months later I am going crazy!! She has become so dependent upon me to do everything for her I fear that she will not be able to live alone after this is all over. I can’t just walk out the door because she will be all alone but I need some space and she needs some independence. What do I do?
Desperate

Dear D:
Sounds like you should have a talk with your mom. Tell her its time for you to leave, and ask how you can make the transition easier.

Call Often (and Frequently)

Posted on | June 5, 2020 | Comments Off on Call Often (and Frequently)

Dear Short Answers:
My father has been in an assisted living facility for about three years. He lives far from here and I didn’t really visit him very often. Now of course I can’t visit because of the virus and I feel so extremely guilty.  The home where he lives told me that I can come to visit if I go into quarantine for two weeks after I arrive and again for two weeks after our visit. That means I have to leave my family for over a month and could potentially put them all at risk. One day I want to jump on a plane and go visit my dad and the next I just want to hide under my bed. What should I do? This is driving me absolutely crazy.
Guilty and Stuck

Dear G&S:
Call and write as often as you can. Calls don’t need to be long or “important.” We have learned through our own experience as well as that of others that a few minutes on FaceTime (while you’re cooking dinner) on a frequent basis makes a bigger difference than you might think. Even if you need to enlist help at his facility..

STOP (in the Name of Love)

Posted on | May 22, 2020 | Comments Off on STOP (in the Name of Love)

Dear Short Answers:
I live in a small beachside town in Florida and we have been very lucky to have almost no virus cases in this area. About a month ago, my son and his wife and their two children decided to move out of Boston and stay with me here since they can work from home now. It was fine at first but now I am going crazy. They refuse to let me leave the house (I am over 70 years old but very healthy) even though they go grocery shopping and take their children to the beach. Before they arrived I had a great routine of walking with a friend every morning for 2 hours, having coffee with a friend (at a safe distance) and I would even have a glass of wine with a friend on her front porch.  They won’t let me do any of that and claim that it is for my own good. It’s MY house and it’s MY life.  How do I handle this? I can’t kick them out but I can’t live like this. Help!
Suffocated

Dear Suffocated:
Hahahaha. There appears to be a lot of this going around — kids who attempt to restrict their parents activity in the name of love. Wonder where they got that idea?

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