New Rules
Posted on | May 14, 2012 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
Help!!! I sit in an open office space and one of my colleagues, who’s very sweet, sniffles loudly all day long. She seems to have allergies, so it never stops. I find it really distracting and have tried giving her tissues but she doesn’t get the hint. I can’t understand how she can be comfortable not blowing her nose — and why her mother never told her that it’s not good for you to do that. It’s like Chinese water torture. How can I tell her politely that it drives me crazy without sounding like a crazy person?
Tolerance Tested
Dear TT:
In the old world, peoples’ tics and personal habits were pretty much unmentionable but these are different times and require new rules. Tell her PRIVATELY in as nice a way that you can muster, that this “habit” of hers is driving you crazy. Be gentle — she probably has no idea she is doing it. Perhaps an antihistimine would help.
LikeTake(s) Two
Posted on | May 14, 2012 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
What is the most effective way to forget someone?? Is it to delete everything and runaway?? Or to confront it , face her and try to solve it??
Suffering
Dear Suffering:
It sounds like you are conflicted about this relationship. You seem uncertain about wanting to forget her or looking for another shot at bat. Perhaps it would be clarifying to ask her what she wants.
Tags: breaking up > Honesty > reconciliation
Full Disclosure
Posted on | May 6, 2012 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I moved in with my boyfriend so we could both save money but this hasn’t happened. What should I do? I kinda hate to mention it but I don’t know where the money is going.
Dollars and Sense
Dear D&S:
Hopefully you moved in together to progress your relationship not just to save money. But that fact that you feel you can’t discuss it speaks volumes. The first step is a budget, and some agreements about who pays what and how much you want to save. If you can’t do that — move out.
Matters of Taste
Posted on | May 6, 2012 | No Comments
Dear Short Answers:
I have a couple of questions. They are both about serving salad at my at home casual dinner parties. First, if the salad is to be eaten with the meal, rather than before or after, and served directly on the dinner plate, am I correct in thinking that salad forks should not be placed on the table? In this situation, can guests eat their salad with the same fork they use to eat the rest of the meal? Second, on the occasions when I do set the table with a separate salad plate (when the entree contains gravy), can I just set a large bowl of salad on the dinner table along with the entree and let guests help themselves to salad? Should I have their salad already served when they sit down at the table? Do I need to remove the salad plates from the table before we begin to eat the main course?
Kim
Dear Kim:
In the first case, no need for a separate fork if you aren’t using a salad plate. On occasions when you are using a salad plate and fork, we prefer to serve it as a separate course — either before or after the entree. In either case, the salad plates should be removed with the salad fork when the course is finished. Pre-plated or self-serve — your choice.
Knowing When
Posted on | May 1, 2012 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
I find my social life exhausting. I like entertaining and I like going out but lately I feel like I do all the work. What do you think?
Social Butterfly
Dear Butter:
Fly darling, fly! If you can’t get on a plane, then take a few weeks off from the party and read, watch TV — whatever are your solitary pleasures.
Don’t Try This at Home
Posted on | April 30, 2012 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
Is it possible to gain 15 pounds in a month?
My Scale Is Lying
Dear Scale:
It is possible to gain 15lbs, but definitely not recommended. Although we have heard of scales that lie, we think that it is unlikely.
Old News
Posted on | April 30, 2012 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
My husband of many, many years really hates my parents … for good reason. But they are old now and I feel like he should have drawn his toe in the dirt years ago. But since he didn’t, now, just let it go! Am I wrong?
Monkey in the Middle
Dear Monkey:
This sounds long and deep. We are betting that if he could let it go, he would! If you haven’t let him know who comes first, maybe it’s time.
Tags: communication issues > Parent-Child Relationships
From the Old Testament…
Posted on | April 23, 2012 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
What is Management?
A Worker
Dear Worker:
Management is the ability to get others to execute your ideas while getting them to own the outcome.
Horses for Courses
Posted on | April 16, 2012 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
Another friend of mine has found her own true love. They are truly high on each other and after just 3 months they are planning their wedding. I’m happy for her. But a little jealous. It’s not that simple for me. I have a boyfriend and I love him but the idea of getting married anytime soon depresses me. So many issues, so many decisions — not about the wedding — about us! Am I crazy? Not romantic? Making it too complicated?
Anxious
Dear A:
You are absolutely right to wait until you feel the time is right to marry. Some relationships present more complexities than others — different backgrounds, previous marriages, dual careers — all present challenges that are worth thinking through. “Made for each other” may always have been a romantic fantasy but in today’s world in which your choice of mate extends way beyond the intimate circle of your youth, it may take longer to “stress test” a relationship.
Equal Opportunity
Posted on | April 16, 2012 | Comments Off
Der Short Answers:
It really pisses me off that people hold gay marriages to a higher standard. Gay friends of mine who were briefly married are now seeking divorce and the whole town is buzzing about it. Straight people are rolling their eyes and gay people seem embarrassed. Some marriages don’t work. Is this new news?
B.J. J.
Dear BJJ:
Of course you are right. And it isn’t the first time that those with recently won civil rights are expected, by some, to continually “prove” their worthiness. However, at the end of the day it is simply gossip and merits no comment.
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