We Don’t Mind

Dear Short Answers: I’ve become obsessed with internet pornography.  Do you think this is a just a passing phase or something I should be concerned about? Sticky Fingers Dear Sticky: Look, this is question only you can answer. It depends on what you mean by “obsessed” and whether it is absorbing emotional space that should [...]

Use It or Lose It

Dear Short Answers: A very good friend of mine is in her fifties and has had a string of health problems — from diabetes to arthritis.  Years ago, she used to try to be active but little by little she has gotten lazier and lazier. Some days, the furthest she walks is from the bed [...]

Try a Little Tenderness

Dear Short Answers: One of my closest friends lost her husband last year. Ever since, she has turned into the rudest, meanest, most thoughtless person I know. For the first six months, we all ignored it and tried to sympathize with her loss. But I think enough is enough. Losing a spouse is a horrible [...]

The Difference between Fantasy and Everything Else

Dear Short Answers: Are New Year’s resolutions really worth making ????? Dear ????: Resolutions are bound to be depressingly disappointing unless they are accompanied by a daily plan. What are you prepared to do every day to help you reach your goal? If you can’t commit to a very specific, measurable daily plan, then resolutions [...]

Dickensian Christmas

Dear Short Answers: I run a small business with 6 employees. Business was not great this year and I’m pretty sure that I will need to lay-off one employee. I think they all know this because it’s pretty obvious that we don’t have enough customers to keep everyone busy. Is it better to lay off [...]

Ask Her

Dear Short Answers: How do you deal with people who are crabby all the time (specifically my wife). She is never happy about anything and nothing is ever good enough for her. Do I ignore her and pretend she’s not talking? Or is there a secret way to make her (finally) happy? Unhappy, Too Dear [...]

Get Working or Get Going

Dear Short Answers: I never feel secure when I am around a certain group. I try to reassure myself, trying to tell myself that everyone has their own weaknesses and strengths, but I just can’t. Deep down, I really feel that those people are always, no matter what, better than me. I’m Inferior Dear Inferior: [...]

Watchful Waiting

Dear Short Answers: My baby sister is very upset about a lot of things. And she seems to want to alienate me as well. It seems like with things falling apart around her we should be closer but she seems intent on driving me away. What do you make of this? Ruth Dear Ruth: This [...]

Good Time Charlie

Dear Short Answers: How do you stop a person from over-sharing? I have good friends who tell me their deepest secrets and I never know what to say. Sometimes they are horrible stories of sickness and divorce and I hate to interrupt and say “I am just not interested in your problems.” Is there a [...]

The World According to Hallmark

Dear Short Answers: A very good friend invited me to a fancy dinner party at her home for Valentine’s Day. I thought it was a wonderful idea since my husband died this past year and I knew that Valentine’s Day was going to be hard for me. A few days before the dinner, my friend [...]

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