Throwing a Blind Eye

Dear Short Answers: I have a friend who, I think, has a serious drug problem.  I’ve never mentioned it to him because I believe that addicts can only cure themselves.  But now I’m starting to wonder if by ignoring it, I’m enabling him?  His other friends and I have talked about this and not sure [...]

Above Our Pay Grade

Dear Short Answers: I think a friend of mine is a kleptomaniac.  Do I tell her that I know?  Do I ignore it?  But what if she gets arrested and I could have stopped her?  I’m totally confused about how to handle this. Help!!!! Silent and Suffering Dear S&S: Come out with it: “Hey, what’s [...]

Use It or Lose It

Dear Short Answers: A very good friend of mine is in her fifties and has had a string of health problems — from diabetes to arthritis.  Years ago, she used to try to be active but little by little she has gotten lazier and lazier. Some days, the furthest she walks is from the bed [...]

One Day at a Time

Dear Short Answers: My brother recently confided in me that he has a very serious and potentially fatal illness. Of course, I am devastated and I want to do whatever I can to help. He also doesn’t want anyone else in our family to know, especially our parents. They are both in their late 80s [...]

When NOT Is Absolutely Good Enough

Dear Short Answers: Is it wrong not to go to visit a friend who is in the hospital? Hospitals make me very nervous and depressed. Can’t I just send a note or flowers? Don’t Want to Go Dear Don’t Want To: It is absolutely NOT necessary to go to the hospital. Some of us actually [...]

Smoking Around

Dear Short Answers: What do you do if you think your boyfriend is sneaking a cigarette after SWEARING that he has quit? Megan Dear Megan: There isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t know that cigarette smoking is a killer — including your BF since he no longer smokes in public. Hopefully,  the inconvenience [...]

Don’t Pack Your Bags

Dear Short Answers: My mother has been very ill for the past year and now requires 24-hour care. I am currently unemployed and decided to move to Virginia where she lives and take care of her. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother who live far from home so everything will be my responsibility. I [...]

Boundary Issues

Dear Short Answers: I recently started going to a new dentist who was recommended by a good friend (who is also female and about my age, mid-40s). At my first visit I was shocked at how “friendly” he was. He is a very handsome man (about 35 I would guess) so, on the one hand, [...]

When Is Enough, Enough?

Dear Short Answers: My husband recently threw out his back and has been barely walking for the past 3 weeks. At first, I waited on him hand and foot and made him rest. He basically sat in front of the TV every minute that he was home while I brought him dinner and snacks and [...]

Open a Door, But Wait to be Invited In

Dear Short Answers: I think a friend is ill, but as far as I know, she isn’t seeking medical attention. Should I say something? What should I say? Worried Dear Worried: Ask her if she is feeling okay. You might even say that she doesn’t seem like herself … is there anything you can do?  [...]

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