What Grown Ups Do

Dear Short Answers: I am gay and have recently started dating a very nice man. I only found out through other people, not him, that he had been married to a woman. I’m not surprised, because he isn’t as interested (or as good at) sex as all my previous boyfriends.  I’m thinking that maybe he [...]

Just Do It

Dear Short Answers: My wife and I are both in our 40s and have had a great marriage for the past 12 years. I recently decided that I wanted to get a tattoo. I can’t explain why, I just do. The problem is that my wife hates tattoos and refuses to allow me to get [...]

Bad Karma

Dear Short Answers: I recently got engaged and am planning my wedding for May 2015. The guest list hasn’t been determined and we don’t really even know how many people we will invite. The other day, a co-worker asked me if I was going to invite her (which seemed rude and premature) and that if [...]

Self-Respect

Dear Short Answers: I work really hard at child care, elder care and service to my community. I serve on the Board of Education in my town which is endlessly time consuming. I really like what I do but because I don’t get a pay check, I feel like my friends think my responsibilities are [...]

Once Upon a Time

Dear Short Answers: I own a small business, and I’m head over heels in love with the man that I run it with. (It turns out that the feeling is mutual.) I know that I can’t have a personal relationship with him and risk messing up our professional relationship — I can’t run the business [...]

Raw or Done?

Dear Short Answers: I want my ex back after a very ugly breakup but he’s been ignoring every attempt at contact for the past 4 days (since we broke up). Is the relationship really not salvageable or are his emotions still raw? Change of Heart Dear Change: The words “very ugly” and “4 days” have [...]

Narcissus Did Not Fare Well

Dear Short Answers: My girl friend has become obsessed about the way she looks and I think it might be the end of our relationship. Every day she asks me questions about her hair and her dress and her make-up and honestly, I don’t know and I don’t care. I think my girl friend is [...]

Diplomacy Can Avoid War

Dear Short Answers: My husband has started to take this whole environmental consciousness thing too far. He refused to use plastic wrap. He saves every scrap of aluminum foil and reuses it dozens of times (until I throw it out because it’s gotten go gross). He flushes the toilet ONCE A DAY (it’s disgusting). He [...]

Real Life with Real Wife

Dear Short Answers: Do you foresee a problem getting married to a woman I love but whose family I can’t stand? Groom-to-Be Dear Groom: If people married their in-laws … most wouldn’t. It is an issue, potentially a big one, that married people need to manage. Talk to your bride about her feelings and her [...]

All Romance Is Complicated

Dear Short Answers: My mother claims to have fallen in love with an elderly gentleman (they are both in the 70s) who she met socially at a party. Both of them lost their spouses within the last year and both seem genuinely happy to be together. Even though they’ve only known each other for about [...]

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