Short Answers

Careful What You Wish For

paulaforman — Mon, 13 May 2013 11:57:02 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
After many years of thinking about it, I finally decided to have some face work done. I’m very proud of myself and think it looks great. But nobody has said ONE COMPLIMENTARY THING!! Should I tell people? Maybe they’ve noticed were embarrassed to comment.
Pouty

Dear Pouty:
In our opinion, the best outcome of cosmetic surgery is that no one says ” YOU FINALLY DID SOMETHING.” No doubt you look rested, and confident, and pleased that something very nice (but private) has happened. And indeed it has.

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Have Good Luck — Learn Chinese!

paulaforman — Sun, 12 May 2013 14:45:39 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
I think that people at work are laughing at me behind my back but I can’t figure out why. How do I find out what’s going on?
Butt of Joke

Dear BOJ:
Either a) You are paranoid and they ARE NOT laughing at you or b) They ARE laughing at you but there is some barrier to telling you about the situation. We remember a very hung-over young man in our Hong Kong office who walked out of the bathroom with the entire roll of toilet paper trailing behind him into a sea of giggling female Chinese associates. We imagine that the women didn’t tell him because they thought it was inappropriate. We didn’t tell him because we spoke no Chinese. Laugh along with them and wear a quizzical expression. Perhaps they will chose to communicate.

Old game/New Rules

paulaforman — Sun, 12 May 2013 14:44:03 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
I have a very young friend at work who has started to get very affection toward me — like putting his hand on my leg during a meeting or giving me a hug when we say hello or goodbye. I am 52 and he is probably in his late 20s. I can’t figure out if he thinks I’m a cougar (which would be GREAT) or if he thinks of me as his mother. How do I find out without embarrassing myself?
Would Like to Be a Cougar

Dear WLTBC:
We hear you! You can encourage him with old-fashioned signals of availability but our cougar friends advise that this game requires great restraint in the chase phase. If he is in pursuit, you must play the part of the watchful prey. Good Luck.

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Things Your Mama Taught You

paulaforman — Sun, 12 May 2013 14:42:36 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
Someone at work who I know well but I absolutely despise has become ill. I will NOT rush to his side but feel I should acknowledge his misfortune. What should I do?
Not A Hypocrite!

Dear Not:
The line between hypocritical and insensitive is challenging but not untraveled. It may be that this person is more receptive to kindness in his weakened state. We never advocate sycophancy, however an upbeat and hopeful note at this time may stir his heart, and either way you have not compromised yours.

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It Will Only Get Worse

paulaforman — Sun, 12 May 2013 12:10:32 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter graduates from kindergarten next week. I am happy to celebrate the moment but the school she attends is having a full-blown “graduation” with cap & gown, diplomas, speeches — it’s crazy. And they are selling tickets to the event for $100 EACH!!!!! I don’t want to scar my daughter for life if I don’t play along — but isn’t this a bit much for kindergarten???
Old-fashioned Dad

Dear Dad:
It’s too late to bail this time but you really might want to re-consider your choice of schools. This is an indication of the values of the school and parent body. If you do not share them, get out ahead of the nightclub birthday parties which are coming your way.

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Spare Yourself

paulaforman — Sun, 12 May 2013 12:09:24 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
When people say “stop me if you’ve heard this before,” is it really okay to stop them?
Its’ a 3peat

Dear 3peat:
Yes its okay. Just smile when you say “rerun.”

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Sounds Good to Us

paulaforman — Sun, 12 May 2013 12:08:19 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
How do I get my wife more interested in watching porn with me? I find it really turns me on and I’d like to share this experience with her.
Excited

Dear E:
Just tell her. It really turns you on and the absolute very best would be sharing.

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Never Mix, Never Worry

paulaforman — Sat, 04 May 2013 14:55:11 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
What is the etiquette for inviting a divorced couple (along with their new significant others) to a dinner party? I like them both and would love to meet their new partners but I’m not sure how to handle this. I don’t want to ruin a good party if they start arguing or get into a fight. What do you suggest?
Concerned Host

Dear Host:
Watching ex’s and their new partners negotiate a social evening makes us lose our appetite. Invite the new couples to separate parties and spare everyone the stress.

You Know What You Know

paulaforman — Sat, 04 May 2013 14:54:28 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
I recently divulged a secret to a very good friend and swore him to secrecy. I later found out the he had told another person. Do I confront him with this? Or do I keep quiet and learn my lesson?
SPD

Dear SPD:
What possible good could come from a confrontation? Denial? Humiliation? Another betrayal? Forget the incident, but remember who you’re talking to.

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The right to privacy

paulaforman — Sat, 04 May 2013 14:53:48 +0000

Dear Short Answers:
I have a very good friend whose mother is 97 years old and is suddenly extremely ill. I imagine that she won’t live more than a few weeks. My friend refuses to talk about this and pretends that nothing is wrong. My own parents died in their 90s and we have many friends who have experienced the same thing. I feel like we can help her get through this – but not if she refuses to address the pain. What can I say that will help?
Worried

Dear W:
Perhaps your friend feels she can wait until it’s over to look at her loss. And maybe she is right. Leave it alone until she asks for help.

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