Not so far out of the trees….

Dear Short Answers: My boyfriend in his fifties who shares my complex and lovely wilderness lifestyle is leaving me for a drunken 33 year old whom he admittedly doesn’t love. How can the male animal have sex/make love to a woman he does not love, and dump the one he respects and cherishes?! Suffering Dear [...]

Green Eyes

Dear Short Answers: How should have Othello behaved when given evidence of his younger wife’s possible infidelity? Does it say anything about older man and much younger women? Looking for Alternatives Dear Looking: Jealousy never leads to anything good.  It is about as corrosive  as guilt.  Couples have a lot of options concerning infidelity — [...]

Forever Fit

Dear ShortAnswers:I’m a 51-year old male in a healthy relationship. (Is it relevant that it is with a man?)   I’ve done triathlons for about 15 years.   My body looks thirty-something but the laugh lines don’t lie.  Most of my core friend group are runners between 5 and 20 years my younger.  Lately, they’ve been upping [...]

The Human Condition

Dear Short Answers:I am a gay, single 54-year-old eligible bachelor who has been divorced for 9 years. I agree with a lot of eligible, single 40+ women (and Flannery O’Connor) who say that a good man is hard to find. Many men who are still single at my age are looking for someone younger ( [...]

Back in the Saddle Again

Dear Short Answers: I don’t consider myself a prude, but in this day and age how long do you wait to sleep with someone? 3 dates?  1st date if it feels right? Help? Back out there after a long hiatus Dear Hiatus: If you are old enough to have had a “long hiatus” then we [...]

Married to the Blob

Dear Short Answers:I’m having a problem getting my retired husband to re-engage his mind and keep himself vital and interesting. I’m in my mid 50s and he’s late 60s. I’m in the process of reinventing myself and have returned to graduate school and discovered new passions. He spends his days doing NYT crossword puzzles and [...]

Horses for Courses

Dear Short Answers: My partner and me (we’re gay) have been together for about 4 years. we never planned to be totally monogamous (who is?) and  we fuck around a lot. But we’re always careful. The problem is, I want a monogamous relationship now (I’m 38). I’ve talked to Mike but he just laughs it [...]

Weighty Matter

Dear Short Answers: My girlfriend (who is very insecure about her body image) has gained about 8 pounds and it shows.  It bothers her and it bothers me.  How do I encourage her to lose it? Fan of Fit Dear Fan: There is nothing you can do about her weight. To comment will only hurt [...]

This Train Has Left the Station…

Dear Short Answers: I just turned 60 (argh) and am married to a much younger woman. She knew I didn’t want kids (never did). But she (and her mother) finally convinced me that that’s the least I could give her. She also promised that I wouldn’t have to do anything (I travel a lot for [...]

A Material Girl

Dear Short Answers: I have always been highly material. The recession is messing with that. In my struggle to adjust to the realities of my new “post-having-a-future” life, should I tie the remnants of my ambition to trying to get back so I can swing into Saks or Linda Dresner with my old delusional savoir [...]

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