What’s It to Ya?

Posted on | September 6, 2013 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I am good friends with a gay couple that has been together for over 20 years. Last year, when it became legal in their state, they got married and had a huge wedding. It was really quite wonderful. When the IRS announced last week that gay married couples must file income tax the same way that straight married couples do, I asked them if their marriage made them pay more or less in income tax. They confided in me that it didn’t make a difference because they really weren’t married. Their big “wedding” was really a commitment ceremony. I was appalled. They had lied in front of their closest friends. First, I want my wedding gift back (which cost more than I should have spent anyway) and second, I feel that I should tell all of the other guests in case they want theirs back, too. I know that I may lose these two as friends, but I feel cheated and lied to and I’m angry. In your opinion, what’s the best thing for me to do?
JAM

Dear Jam:
If they had said it was a commitment ceremony, would you have not attended? Would you have not gifted them? You said the celebration was “wonderful” — why can’t you just leave it at wonderful? We honestly do not understand your anger.

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