Passages

Posted on | November 3, 2013 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My parents are getting older and need more and more attention. They refuse to move into an assisted living facility and seem to expect their children (there are 3 of us) to help out with things around the house, running errands and taking them to the doctor. Where does my responsibility as an adult child end and their responsibility to take care of themselves begin?
Struggling

Dear Struggling:
Every family crosses these bridges. Kids helping out and Assisted Living are only two of a variety of options. You need to decide what you are prepared to do, and discuss your decision with your siblings. Perhaps hiring a non-family person for a few hours a week would be a relief right now, but these issues get worse over time, and it makes sense to have a plan based on finances, willingness of family to participate in care, and your parents’ wishes. It is almost always a difficult discussion that reveals many past resentments but talking about it is the only reasonable way to proceed.

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