Cut to the Chase

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have constant disagreements over how to raise our children.  Everything from when is bedtime to how much candy they can eat at Halloween. Is there a book you can recommend that can settle these arguments once and for all?
Wit’s End

Dear Wit:
Disagreements about kids is a marriage killer. It’s very wearing and creates enormous tension for everyone.  Often these arguments are not really about the kids but a way for one partner to undermine the behavior of the other adult!  We suggest you think this through and try to separate you from the kids. When one parent says “too much candy,” are they really saying “you eat too much candy?”  Does “let the kids stay up later” really mean they don’t want to be alone with you — or afraid of confrontation? Once you sort out what is really going on, it is easier to agree on outcomes.  A counselor could really help you quicken this process.

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