Oh No, This Again

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Every one around me is gearing up for the holidays and I am so not feeling it!  I love my family and do my very best to stay in touch and hear their concerns, but the thought of all of them banging up against one another (not to mention all that work) is making me tense already — which never brings out the best in me. Here is what I was thinking: I know a needy family — I would like to buy  a ham or a turkey for them (even that seems problematic — will they be insulted?) and fly someplace with just my husband for four days.  Just a fantasy really — I can’t do it.  People are counting on me and plans have been made months ago. What do I do with the feelings so I behave well?
Noreen

Dear Noreen:
Good for you for knowing how you feel — that is step number one. Try enlisting others in the prep and cooking but not POT LUCK which always ends up more work for the host.  Tell everyone who is capable, what you want from them and when — make a chart and include shopping, menu, house prep, serving, clean-up, house restored, etc. All these things take work and we tend to think it’s just the food.  Dragging in the groceries, cleaning the house so that there is room for everyone, moving chairs from all over to fit around tables, cooking, serving, elder care, baby care and of course clean up and putting everything away afterwards.  If you do nothing but manage the others that is still a lot of work — and who knows, they might like it! Family generally want to help they just don’t know exactly what to do..
As for the needy family, follow your heart. And the 4-day get away with your husband — move that to the top of another list. Maybe even next year.  Good luck, honey.


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