We Smell Trouble

Posted on | March 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My wife and I have been planning a hiking vacation for over a year.  She isn’t a big fan of hiking but we made a compromise — we would first take a vacation that SHE chose (we went to Bermuda) and then it would be MY turn to select a vacation destination.  About 3 weeks ago, she had a minor car accident and hurt her neck and shoulder.  So now she says that she isn’t physically able to go hiking.   I think she is just faking this so I suggested that she stay home and I’ll go with a friend.  She is furious and demands that I cancel the vacation and get as much of our deposit back as possible.  I seriously doubt that the two of us will ever go hiking.  Am I wrong to go alone with a friend?
Backpacker

Dear Backpacker:
We think it is important that you get to the bottom of this argument. That you think she is “faking” suggests to us that that this isn’t really about hiking.  Although we often advise a “one for him, one for her” approach to vacation planning we presume both parties will approach both holidays with an open mind and willingness to have fun.  Something seems to have gone wrong. Does she think that you will make the hike into a “forced march”?  Are you insufficiently attentive to her needs and fears? Going with a friend is only a solution if it is blessed by both of you.

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