A Little Help, Not a Lot

Posted on | March 4, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
If you know two people at work who really seem to like each other but can’t get up the nerve to say anything to the other person (even though they’ve both confided in me), should you try to help them out and get things started?  Or just let nature take it’s course?  I think they would be perfect for each other!
Cupid

Dear Cupid:
Sure, why not give them a little push.  Just don’t get too invested in the outcome.

To Be or Not to Be

Posted on | March 4, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What do you think of assisted suicide for the terminally ill?
EEJ

Dear EEJ:
Although we are respectful of the many religious, philosophical and medical objections, we believe that having options is almost always helpful. Particularly, in this case.

True ’til Proven Otherwise

Posted on | February 27, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
One of my dearest friends (who, by the way, is not very rich nor very attractive) has announced to everyone in town that she has a new boyfriend who is half her age!  Fine, I know it’s none of my business.  But somehow this mysterious boyfriend is never in town when we invite them over for dinner or “away on business” (whatever it is that he claims to do) at the last minute.  We all suspect that he doesn’t really exist but we’re not sure how far along in this game we’re supposed to play.  Do we just listen quietly when Martha talks about him?  Or tell her to shut up until we can actually meet him in the flesh?
Waiting for Your Answer

Dear Waiting:
What’s it to you? Of course you should listen. Real or not, he is serving a purpose.

Now You Know

Posted on | February 27, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Why is respect so important?
JEB

Dear JEB:
It is the basis of our social contract with one another. It is an acknowledgment of our shared humanity.

Boy Friends and Best Friends

Posted on | February 27, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend is cheating on me with my BFF and he does not know that I know that. What should I do?
Upset

Dear Upset:
Sounds like you better talk to him. In fact, you better talk to both of them — considering that you may have made two poor choices.

Demanding Full Attention?

Posted on | February 18, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Ever since my boyfriend got a job, he doesn’t seem to love me anymore. What should I do?
Peggy

Dear Peggy:
The one thing you shouldn’t do is act jealous of his job. Working is good. Having other interests is good. Maybe you should try it.

Game of Hearts

Posted on | February 7, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Valentine’s Day is coming up and I don’t have a girl friend or a date. What do you suggest I go on that dreaded night all alone and by myself?
Lonely Heart

Dear Lonely:
We always thought that Valentine’s Day, like New Year’s Eve was for amateurs — however, if you are determined to go out, hold your head high, you may meet someone.

Irreplaceable

Posted on | February 7, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What do you do when your best friend starts to really annoy you?  I’m not sure whether she has changed or I have.  But we’ve been friends for 40 years and it’s getting to the point where I can’t stand to be around her.  She whines and complains about everything and nothing anybody does for her is good enough.  I know that I’ll never have another 40-year relationship with anybody.  But is “old” friendship really worth it?
Old Friend

Dear Old:
In a word, YES, it’s worth it.  Tell her she’s gotten to be a whiner and suggest you go out together and have some laughs! (As only really old friends can do.)

When Less Is More

Posted on | February 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have decided to get a divorce although we haven’t told anyone yet. We are still living together because we haven’t figured out all the details of our separation which is about as friendly as this kind of thing could be. Both of us feel that we should really start informing our friends but can’t quite figure out how. We don’t want to make a bigger deal of this than necessary and we certainly don’t want to have to tell the same story a hundred times. Under the circumstances, do you think that a mass email or Facebook post is acceptable?
Soon-to-Be-Ex

Dear Soon:
Email and FB does not seem like the right vehicle for this kind of info. Perhaps you should wait until you are legally separated and living apart.  Then tell a few close friends. You will be astonished at how quickly news travels.

Food Bullies

Posted on | February 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I recently decided to become a vegetarian. It’s been something that I’ve been considering for a long time and when friends ask me about it, I am honest about it and tell them that I just decided that it was the right thing to do both ethically and health-wise. Apparently, if you’re not a real activist about it, people don’t take you seriously. Friends still invite me for dinner and serve meat and expect me to eat it. More than one friend has said that since I ate meat for over 40 years, a little more won’t kill me. Should I start bringing my own food to dinner parties? Or just decline every invitation unless I get a guarantee that a vegetarian option will be available?
Meatless

Dear Meat:
No one should be pushed into eating or drinking anything they do not wish. On the other hand, we have said often that it is not the host’s responsibility to cater to your choices. Can’t you just skip the meat and eat the sides and salad and thank them very much?

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