Desperate Times/Desperate Measures

Posted on | September 10, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Is it okay to use body wash on my face when I’m in the shower if there isn’t any face wash handy?

Dear KTG:
This has to be  a guy question — and the answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT. Just water is preferable.


Posted on | September 3, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I was in line to order a sandwich at a deli and this guy comes up to me and says that he’s in a hurry and can he cut in front of me. I wasn’t in a hurry myself so I said okay.  But when he stepped in line, all the people behind me starting to yell at me because, of course, he cut in front of them, too.  I was so embarrassed that I left the store but I got to thinking about it.  Shouldn’t they have yelled at HIM instead of me?
Just Trying to Be Nice

Dear Trying:
You were not at fault. It is worth thinking about why you left the store and what your other options might have been.

Your Sister’s Keeper

Posted on | September 3, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I took my dog to the dog park yesterday and while I was there a woman came in with a rather large dog and soon after, she left and left her dog in the dog park. I thought she might be just going to her car or something but I was there for over 30 minutes and she still had not returned.  I finally left myself but kept thinking that perhaps I should have called the local SPCA to come get the dog.  I didn’t want them to permanently take the dog away from her but her behavior seemed really irresponsible to me and potentially dangerous (it was, after all, a really big dog).  What do you think I should have done?

Dear Worrying:
No wonder you are still concerned! It is always tough to decide when to intervene when encountering the irresponsible behavior of others.  Intervention often means setting a process in motion over which you have no control. You did what seems reasonable. Perhaps you might have checked back to see if she had come for the dog in another half hour, but if not, you would have faced the same tough call.


Posted on | August 26, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My friend’s parents are hosting all their kids and family plus some friends of their kids– like me.  Do I need to confirm invite with my friend’s parents or can I assume my friend is “empowered”.
Guest to Be

Dear Guest2B:
Yes, of course confirm with the hosts.  You may certainly do so by email, but agree on time and date of arrival and departure, and DO NOT assume that they are aware of any partners, children, pets, or other added treats your friend may have agreed to.

2 people like this post.

Things that Nest in the Night

Posted on | August 12, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Do you fear death?
A Friend

Dear Friend:
Not today.


Posted on | August 12, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Can you tell me why docs are still prescribing oxy when the opiate epidemic is out of control?

Dear Witness:
People are in a lot of pain.  Compassion.  People abuse drugs.  Sometimes. Doctors have incomplete information. We do not accept pain.  That’s the beginning of a conversation.

Are You Serious?

Posted on | August 6, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend and I have been together for less than a year and have a great relationship except for one thing. He can’t sleep unless the room is really cold and I can’t sleep unless it’s warm.  I’ve tried flannel nightgowns but I hate them.  He bought me a heavy comforter but I still like the room temp to be warm.  We still have separate apartments so he doesn’t stay over at my place very often.  Do you think this will be the reason we split up?  It seems silly but we can’t really figure out a compromise that works.
Running Hot and Cold

Dear Hold and Cold:
What worries us is your problem solving abilities. If you can’t work this one out, long term prospects don’t look good.

1 person likes this post.

Wrecking Crew Approaching

Posted on | August 6, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband just got an amazing job offer in another city working for a theater company.  Unfortunately, I also work in the theater and if we move there, I would probably have to work for him since that is the only major theater in that city.  I truly don’t want to do that and possibly screw up our marriage.  But I also don’t want to stop him from advancing his career.  But if I take a job in another industry in our new city, I could mess up my own career.  How do we figure this out?
The Other Half

Dear Other:
This is tough, but we think you should hold out for a bigger city where there are independent opportunities for both of you. Not because working for one’s husband is inherently a bad idea, but it sounds like this is nothing even close to equal opportunity.

1 person likes this post.

Fashion Victim

Posted on | July 31, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Ever since my husband retired, he has started to get sloppier and sloppier in the way he dresses. His clothes have really, really bad stains and are threadbare in places.  I have bought him new clothes but he refuses to wear them and says he just doesn’t care.  He’s starting to look much older than he really is and I have told him so.  I threatened to throw out all his clothes but he says he will just go to the Salvation Army and buy clothes that are worse.  What can I do?  It’s embarrassing.
Wife of Slob

Dear WOS:
We feel you. Sounds like he is depressed. The real issue is “why.”

Truth or Consequences

Posted on | July 31, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I desperately want to live in a foreign country for at least a year. I don’t really know why, I just do. My wife thinks that I’m crazy and refuses to discuss this. We both have good jobs and neither one of them has an overseas presence that would allow us to transfer.  We’d have to quit our jobs and start over wherever we go. Would it be wrong for me to move to Europe on my own and try to find a job in the hope that my wife would follow once I get settled?  I don’t want this to be the end of our marriage but I don’t want to give up on my dream either.
Discouraged and Disheartened

Dear D&D:
Start with some hard truth.  Do you really understand the reasons for her resistance? Do you really understand why you want to go?  Understanding is a better place to start than leaving. If you move on your own, our bet is that she won’t follow — is that what you really want? Talk it over.

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