Look Elsewhere

Posted on | April 5, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
There is a girl at work who I like a lot so I asked her out on a “date.”  She was very nice about it but told me that she was gay.  I accepted that and didn’t ask her again but then I found out totally accidentally that she is dating a guy.  Do you think the gay thing was just an excuse?  Or maybe she’s changed her mind.  Should I ask her out again and tell her that I know she isn’t TOTALLY gay??
Still Interested

Dear Interested:
Whatever the reason, she is clearly NOT interested in you.  IF she changes her mind about you, leave it to her to get in touch.

1 person likes this post.

What’s the Question?

Posted on | April 5, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My wife is an insensitive bitch and a lousy mother.
Not Happy

Dear Not:
We are concerned. Tell us more.

1 person likes this post.

We Smell Trouble

Posted on | March 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My wife and I have been planning a hiking vacation for over a year.  She isn’t a big fan of hiking but we made a compromise — we would first take a vacation that SHE chose (we went to Bermuda) and then it would be MY turn to select a vacation destination.  About 3 weeks ago, she had a minor car accident and hurt her neck and shoulder.  So now she says that she isn’t physically able to go hiking.   I think she is just faking this so I suggested that she stay home and I’ll go with a friend.  She is furious and demands that I cancel the vacation and get as much of our deposit back as possible.  I seriously doubt that the two of us will ever go hiking.  Am I wrong to go alone with a friend?
Backpacker

Dear Backpacker:
We think it is important that you get to the bottom of this argument. That you think she is “faking” suggests to us that that this isn’t really about hiking.  Although we often advise a “one for him, one for her” approach to vacation planning we presume both parties will approach both holidays with an open mind and willingness to have fun.  Something seems to have gone wrong. Does she think that you will make the hike into a “forced march”?  Are you insufficiently attentive to her needs and fears? Going with a friend is only a solution if it is blessed by both of you.

Pick Your Punishment

Posted on | March 22, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, do you have to eat everything on your plate before going back for seconds?  My wife and I completely disagree on this question.
Still Hungry

Dear Hungry:
We presume that the joy of “all-you-can-eat” is that the CLEAN PLATE CLUB rules do not apply. However we have heard the one about having to eat all you have EVER left on your plate before you get into heaven.

It Could Happen

Posted on | March 22, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My mother is moving into an assisted living facility and cannot take her two dogs with her.  She has asked me to take care of them but my husband refuses to let me do that. He’s not allergic to dogs or anything like that, he just doesn’t like pets.  I think that this is the least I can do for my mother who is going through enough drama in her life right now.  Can a wife overrule a husband in this situation?
Want to Do the Right Thing

Dear Right Thing:
Two dogs, especially to a non dog lover, seems like a lot — even to us. How about proposing to your husband that you “foster care” the dogs and look for good homes.  We can also hope that with some coaching from you, the pups will charm your husband into reconsidering.

Growing Up

Posted on | March 22, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Since I am paying for my son’s college education, shouldn’t I get to select the college that is right for him?  When did children get to choose things like that?
Old-Fashioned Parent

Dear Old-Fashioned:
We understand how you feel and have some sympathy for your view but it it is a dangerous game. There are many ways a decision that YOU make for a young adult could go awry. It is better to empower him to make his own decision but hold him to a high performance standard at the school of his choice.

No Reward Forthcoming

Posted on | March 22, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I was recently passed over for a promotion even though I am much better qualified than the man who was given the job.  I went to my boss to discuss this situation and he offered to give me a substantial bonus as long as I didn’t report the situation to HR.  I took the bonus and shut up but now I feel like I really should tell HR.  Perhaps my boss offered the bonus because I’m not the first woman in his division to complain about this and he doesn’t want HR to find out.  My “feminist” intuition tells me that I should report him even though I took the money.  Is it more moral to keep my vow of silence or to report a potential sexual discrimination case?
Sorry Sister

Dear Sister:
It’s never too late to do the right thing. We think you should go to HR but be prepared for a rough ride. You essentially accepted a bribe and may be subject to reprimand and/or asked to return your bonus.

Uncertainty & Principle

Posted on | March 15, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I’m pretty sure that a person I know in school cheated on a test.  And my friends think they know a couple other people who did, too.  I don’t think that what they did is my business but I’m worried that if they got high scores because they cheated then I might have gotten a lower grade because I didn’t.  Should I tell the teacher?  I don’t have any proof but I think I’m right.
Working Hard

Dear Working Hard:
We understand your concern but without proof your complaint is potentially malicious. Forget it.

Higher Mathematics

Posted on | March 15, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My wife and I both work and make just about the same amount of money.  We both like our jobs but aren’t in love with them and we’d both like to retire by the time we are 60.  Since I’ve been doing mine longer, I think I should get to retire first.  She didn’t start working until our 3 kids were in their teens.  On the other hand, she thinks that she should get to retire first because she gave up seniority in her career in order to stay at home and raise kids.  We have calculated that I can retire at 62 (2 years past my ideal date) as long as she continues to work until she’s 65.  That seems fair to me but not to her.  What is a suitable compromise?
Ready

Dear Ready:
Perhaps you have forgotten that being at home and raising kids is work!  We think it would be nice to retire on the same day.  Do the math — both financial and emotional.

An Easy One

Posted on | March 8, 2015 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think it’s important to take a shower after going to the gym?  Even if you already took a shower that day?
Bob

Dear Bob:
Yes. and Yes.

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