Use It/Lose It

Posted on | May 22, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Over the past year, I have found it harder and harder to do simple math calculations in my head. I went to school when you had to memorize your “tables” so I should know these things. I can’t figure out whether I am simply out of practice (since who has to do math in their heads any more?) or if I am starting to “lose it.”  Do other people my age (I am almost 70) have this problem?

Dear Worried:
YES.  There seems to be a lot of that going on.

1 person likes this post.

As You Like It

Posted on | May 14, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Now that Facebook has these automatic alerts, I keep getting birthday announcements in my calendar for people who have passed away. I don’t mind it because it is a reminder of the person and it always makes me stop and think for a few minutes about them.  But my husband thinks it’s morbid and that I should delete them all before my calendar is completely filled with dead people’s birthdays.  What do you think?
Carol Ann

Dear CA:
We think your husband should delete his dead, and that you should manage yours, as you see fit.

1 person likes this post.

Better Living through Chemistry

Posted on | April 29, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I are in our 70s and this is the third marriage for both of us. Completely out of the blue he announced that he is no longer “capable” of having sex with me and he thinks that I should get some sort of a “machine” to help me do it on my own.  I think he’s fully “capable,” I just don’t think he’s “interested.”  A big reason that we got married 10 years ago was because the sex was so good.  I don’t think I can find another man at my age.  How to I get him to change his mind?
Still Hot

Dear Hot:
Tell him an intermission is ok but you’re not ready for a final curtain — and he should see the doc. While you are waiting, try to remember the other reasons you got married.

3 people like this post.

Great Expectations

Posted on | April 23, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
There is an older divorced woman in town who seems to like my company a lot because she invites me to join her at numerous events (like dinners and parties).  When we go out, she always pays for the meals and the tickets.  I enjoy being with her but there is certainly no “spark” if you know what I mean.  At least not on my side.  I’m concerned that she might be expecting more but I don’t know how to bring it up without insulting her and ruining a very pleasant friendship.  How do I handle this potentially awkward situation?

Dear Randy:
Frankly, Randy, we are more concerned about the financial arrangement. Perhaps if you paid your own way you would worry less.

1 person likes this post.

Don’t Sweat It

Posted on | April 16, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
When a bride & groom suggest a cash gift for their wedding instead of a traditional present, what is the proper amount to give?  They are co-workers and “good” friends but certainly not “really good” friends.  I don’t want to appear cheap but I can’t afford to be overly generous either.
A Guest

Dear Guest:
These cash suggestions make us uncomfortable. We suggest you ignore the suggestion and give them a gift of your own choosing.

Try It!

Posted on | April 16, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have been married and shared a bed and bedroom for almost 40 years.  Lately, however, I find that I don’t sleep as well as I used to and have asked my husband to consider sleeping in separate rooms (we have the space to do that).  My husband is agreeable but suspicious that I “don’t love him any more.”  How do I convince him that this is only about getting a good night’s sleep and nothing else?  Or should I be worried that perhaps this is a bigger issue that I am making it out to be?
Sleepless in My Sixties

Dear Sleepless:
Just slip into the guest room after he falls asleep, from time to time. He may notice that he sleeps better too.  You can do that without officially moving to another room.

Not Every Truth Need Be Told

Posted on | April 16, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I have a good friend who has had very serious medical problems over the past couple of years. I happen to know for a fact that she is over 65 and on Medicare. However, she has been telling people that she is only 63 and can’t get health insurance.  Consequently, she has raised a lot of money on GoFundMe for her supposed medical bills.  Should I let other people know that she is not being honest and that they shouldn’t waste their money on her?  Or should I keep my mouth shut and let her fool people?  I am concerned that her generous friends might contribute to more needy causes if they didn’t waste their money on her.

Dear S:
Honestly, tell us again why this is your business?

Say WHAT????

Posted on | April 9, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
How do you tell someone who really isn’t a close friend that they are losing their hearing?  And that’s the reason people don’t invite them over for dinner or parties because they constantly ask people to repeat themselves and simply can’t keep up with a fast-paced cocktail conversation.  I want to help but don’t know how to go about it.

Dear Concerned:
You can’t help. This is a job for someone close. But you could tell those in your circle who seem remarkably callous, that you will be the first to tell them when and why their company is no longer required.

1 person likes this post.

Independent Studies

Posted on | March 26, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter is graduating from college in June and she desperately wants to go to Europe for 2 months with a group of her friends. All of the other parents are paying for their kids to go (at least that’s what my daughter tells me) but I don’t feel good about spending that much money for a “vacation.”  Plus, I already made it clear to her that once she graduates, she is on her own (since her father and I paid for her college education). I think it would be a good experience for her and I know that “all the kids are doing it.”  But I don’t know if those are good enough reasons.  What do you think?
Paid in Full

Dear Paid:
We agree that a summer in Europe sounds grand! At any age! Why don’t you and “dad” take the summer in Europe to reward yourself for having put your daughter through college? No? Can’t afford it? Can’t take the time off? Then neither can she. Not on your dime.

4 people like this post.

Family Matters

Posted on | March 23, 2017 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I have a large family that I see rather infrequently (due to distance, not compatibility).  Every couple of years one of my siblings or cousins shows up at our house either “unannounced” or with only a day or two notice.  I used to find it extremely annoying and mentioned it to them after their visit but that didn’t do any good.  So I’ve just gotten over my annoyance and now just accept that this is my family’s way of doing things.  Unfortunately, my husband has NOT gotten over it and will remain angry and silent for the duration of their stay which makes the visit even more stressful on me than it needs to be.  We are both in our 70s and things are not going to change.  How do I convince hubby to chill out a bit and relax.  I do all the work when guests are here anyway.
Joan B.

Dear Joan:
We commend you  both on your commitment to your family and your unconditional acceptance of their quirky ways. Tell your husband that he’s right. And so what. He isn’t going to win this one so just “man-up.”

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