It’s Complicated
Posted on | May 4, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
Are young people ruder today than they used to be?
Often Offended
Dear OO:
What is considered “rude” is controlled by many things. It is cultural, generational, and as variable as fashion. Young people probably aren’t ruder, but you are definitely older than you used to be.
Variable Costs
Posted on | May 4, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
What do you do about a friend who never picks up a check. And I mean never!
Friend of Cheap
Dear FOC:
Assume this as the price of your relationship. Then decide if you want to go out with this friend, or not.
May I Help You?
Posted on | May 4, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
My neighbor is elderly and becoming frail. We are friends and I would like to help her with her garden this year. How do I offer without offending her?
Younger in Springtime
Dear Younger:
Keep it light. No need for lengthy explanations. Drop by on a nice day and say “put me to work.”
Nightmare in the Sky
Posted on | April 28, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
How do you handle a screaming baby who is sitting two rows away from you on a cross country airplane flight? And the mother refuses to even acknowledge that there is a problem? I called the flight attendant who basically told me to mind my own business. I thought I was going to go crazy if that kid didn’t stop screeching. What is the best thing to do?
Head Aches!
Dear Head:
You did the right thing. Next time if the attendant refuses to address the problem raise the ante: ask for her (his) name and threaten to report the incident.
Barkers and Biters
Posted on | April 28, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
I have a friend whose heart is in the right place but only I seem to know it. He comes across as angry and argumentative with everyone — from waitresses to close friends. Should I tell him to knock it off?
Sick of It
Dear Sick:
We know folks like that. It is unlikely that your unsolicited testimonial will do anything but elicit more self-protective anger. Although your observation may be correct and even loving — our experience is that kind of behavior is often a well-fortified defense.
Reading the Tea Leaves
Posted on | April 27, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
How do you get over having a crush on someone at work? Especially when the other person is clearly not interested in you. But I have to see him everyday and that is just driving me crazy. I don’t want to make a fool of myself. But I also don’t want to miss the chance that he might just a little bit like me. How do I handle this?
Rosie
Dear Rosie:
Really. Leave him alone. Not interested means not interested.
Declaration of Independence
Posted on | April 19, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
I am 22 years old and just graduated from college. I want to do something exciting before I settle down to a job and family. My parents gave me $10,000 as a graduation present to do anything I wanted with. I am planning to use the money to travel to Africa and maybe find a job. My parents are furious. They say it is too dangerous and a stupid idea. They thought I would use the money to find an apartment and a job in the U.S. Shouldn’t I be able to spend the money any way I want? And isn’t Africa a lot more interesting than a job in Minneapolis?
Sally
Dear Sally:
Relax, go to Africa and be kind to your parents. Tell them you love them, that you will make them proud. (And stay in touch — that will help.)
A House Divided
Posted on | April 19, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
Do you think two people should get married if they have wildly different political, religious and social views?
Still Standing
Dear SS:
Well, it depends on who’s winning.
But truly, it depends on if you like fighting all the time. Politics and Religion and Social Issues are kinda the meat of life. If you don’t agree on any of those things, you might find that there are few safe things to talk about as the years go on… Do you like the same people? Do the same things make you laugh? Does your heart break at the same things? You decide about marriage.
Game Changers
Posted on | April 19, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
My niece just had a baby. No one called me — I found out on Facebook. I am sick of being an internet gift service. Do I have to send yet another unappreciated offering?
Distant Auntie
Dear Auntie:
No. It is better to risk their anger than assure yours.
Watchful Waiting
Posted on | April 19, 2013 | Comments Off
Dear Short Answers:
My baby sister is very upset about a lot of things. And she seems to want to alienate me as well. It seems like with things falling apart around her we should be closer but she seems intent on driving me away. What do you make of this?
Ruth
Dear Ruth:
This is called “projection” — stand clear. Be ready to hug her when she comes home.

Like