Teach the Children

Posted on | August 28, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What do I do about my friends who are still carrying a torch for Bernie?
Getting Annoyed

Dear Getting:
Just shake your head and sigh, and tell them that you love them.


Posted on | August 21, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
With all this publicity about Melania Trump’s nude photos, my wife admitted to me that when she was an aspiring actress, she once had a nude photo session.  She can’t remember what the photos were for but she needed the money.  That was a long time ago and the photos are probably long gone by now but I’m not sure what to think. Should I just ignore it?  Or is this a whole new side of my wife that I need to investigate further?
Husband, Uncertain

Dear Uncertain:
Forget it. The past is past.  The person you know and love is a product of all her experiences, some bare (sic) discussion, but most often it is a good idea to stay present to enjoy all the drama it offers.

Mixed or Matched

Posted on | August 21, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
What is the difference between “beneficiary” and “stackholder?”

Dear John:
A “beneficiary” is a recipient of an advantage of some sort: it is generally financial but one can also benefit from gifts of other kinds such as privilege, honor or genetics. A “stackholder” is the one with all the pancakes.


Posted on | August 14, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers
Was Rasputin a Jew?

Dear GOP:
Who wants to know?

What if THEY Win?

Posted on | July 28, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
Is it wrong to “disown” your family over politics? My brother is a hate-spewing Trump supporter who plasters his Facebook page with bizarre lie-filled rants.  I try to avoid politics when I speak to him but it’s just not possible because he always brings it up.  We are both in our 60s and basically have nothing in common.  Every encounter with him leaves me sad and disheartened.  My wife encourages me to stay in touch because he is “family” but when “family” makes you sad, isn’t it better to sever all ties and just move on?

Sick of Him

Dear Sick:
We hear you and a lot of us are facing similar situations — if not with family, then with old friends. Although we have a bias toward long-standing irreplaceable relationships — and surely a brother is in that category — sometimes you just can’t take it anymore. But there sure are a lot of them.

$$$ and Sense

Posted on | July 24, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
A close friend of mine is very active in a local charity that has an annual big fund-raising drive. Every year I have given a token amount just because he is my friend.  This year I decided that was silly because I really don’t believe in their cause and it annoys me that he expects me to contribute to something I don’t like. Unfortunately, he is now completely ignoring me and refuses to acknowledge my presence even when we are in the same room.  Do you think I was right not to contribute?  Or should I have given something purely in the interest of our friendship?

Dear John:
Contributions to charities that are important to our friends are to honor the commitment our friends have made. In general, its a good idea — that’s how not-for-profits float the boat.

Don’t Get Mad, Handle It

Posted on | July 24, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I am a single woman in my late 50s who decided that my career was more important than getting married or raising a family. There are times when I regret this decision but there’s not a lot I can do about it now.  The problem is that the younger people where I work are all obsessed with having kids (several of them are pregnant right now and several are “trying to get pregnant”).  So whenever a late night or weekend job needs to get done, I’m the one who has to do it because we can’t possibly interfere with the personal life of a “mom.”  How do I convince the CEO that this is simply reverse discrimination and that we should all get treated the same whether we have kids or not?
Feeling Abused

Dear FA:
We think you should start with being pleasantly direct with your co-workers. Explain that “single” doesn’t mean doormat and that you also have a personal life.   Try to work out an equitable schedule for late nights/weekends without escalating it to the CEO. That’s what grown ups do.

When No News Is Better

Posted on | July 23, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I have gotten so sick and tired of people posting their AMAZING vacation photos on Facebook. Why are all my friends going to incredible countries and having incredible adventures when I have to stay home and work????

Dear Crabby:
We don’t know why you can’t manage a vaca — but surely you can take a FB break. Sounds like you need one.

Full Disclosure

Posted on | July 23, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
About 6 months ago I moved to a new city and have been trying to get to know new people.  One of my co-workers must have thought I was gay (which I am not) because he invited me to a social event at the local gay and lesbian center.  I went anyway and had a great time.  I’ve been back several times and have made a lot of new, really great friends.  Now I am feeling a bit guilty and think I need to tell people that I am not a lesbian.  Nobody has been hitting on me and everybody has been as sweet as they can be.  But I feel that I am making friends under false pretenses like being on J-Date when you’re not Jewish.  Do you think I should announce my heterosexuality or just keep making friends and hope that it comes out naturally?

Dear Worried:
Sounds like you are the only one who is unclear … but surely there is the opportunity to reveal your sexual identity without making an announcement.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Posted on | July 3, 2016 | Comments Off

Dear Short Answers:
I am not an alcoholic. At least I don’t think so.  And no one has told me that I drink too much.  My problem is that I go out with friends or go to a party and once I start drinking I can’t stop.  My friends might have 2 or 3 drinks and then say they’ve had enough.  Once I’ve had 2 or 3 drinks I have no will power and keep drinking until I’m clearly drunk and hung over the next day.  Do you have any advice on how I can get some will power?
One Too Many, Once Too Often

Dear One Too:
It’s not about will power.  Call it what you want, but not being able to stop when you have had enough signals a problem. You can try limiting yourself to one drink, but if you can’t do that consistently, you had better quit.  Sounds harsh? That’s what an alcoholic says.

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