Recipe for Heartache

Dear Short Answers: Is it possible to be friends with your ex? Missing Her Dear Missing: No.  Although there are some exceptions,  friendship with an ex is a very risky proposition.  There is something inherently unbalanced in the relationship. One party is likely to be needier,  or more vulnerable and the designation “ex” is the [...]

Don’t Start What You Can’t Finish

Dear Short Answers: My wife was very ambitious on my behalf.  It’s a little more complicated than just blind ambition but I did something terrible to please her. Then she did something terrible, and now I feel like something terrible is about ready to happen to me.  Also, I think I am hallucinating — ghosts, [...]

Family Feeling

Dear Short Answers: What do you do if you really can’t stand your spouse’s family. I mean really totally absolutely hate them and can’t stand to be in the same room with them. And, believe me, I have very good reasons for this. If I tell them what I feel, they will never ask me [...]

Tough Love

Dear Short Answers: I found out last week that my niece (who is 20 years old) has had problems with heroine and has actually been arrested several times. I have 2 children (16 & 18) and I don’t want them associating with their cousin. This isn’t punative, it’s just common sense, I think. My brother [...]

Boundaries

Dear Short Answers: My closest friend of 20 years has been in a very unhealthy romantic relationship for almost 3 years with a woman who I believe is mentally ill. My friend has shared all of the details of this relationship.  She and her girlfriend have called our home in the middle of the night [...]

Why They Do What They Do

Dear Short Answers: Please explain to me what’s going on with all these politicians and their sex scandals. I say that it’s just men being men and who cares. My wife says if that’s true, then men are pigs and she will become a lesbian instead! Who’s right? JT Dear JT: It’s about power …. [...]

Just say NO!

Dear Short Answers: My husband (Tom) and I live in a very gay-friendly town and have many gay friends. Tom, who is quite handsome, is frequently hit on by gay men even though they all know he is married. I didn’t mind and was actually flattered in a strange way. But last week, my husband [...]

Doggone…

Dear Short Answers: At what point can I steal my neighbor’s dog? They pay absolutely no attention to it. It’s either inside all day whining or outside tied up. I don’t think it’s ever been bathed. I checked and it doesn’t have a license. But when I called the local shelter they told me that [...]

Speak Now — or Forever Hold Your Peace

Dear Short Answers: For our honeymoon, my fiance & I totally disagree. He wants a hiking trip in the Rockies — with camping and hang gliding and rock climbing. And he told everybody to buy us camping equipment for our wedding. I never gave him the slightest hint that I would do anything like that. [...]

Tricky Dicky

Dear Short Answers: I’m straight but I have a lot of gay friends. Unfortunately, my wife is getting more and more suspicious that we are “more than just friends.” She doesn’t like bars so she refuses to hang out with us. As a joke (we were really, really drunk), a couple gay friends came home [...]

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