New Rules

Dear Short Answers: A good friend’s son just got married.  It was a small, impromptu family-only event.  Am I obligated to send a gift? Uninvited Dear Un: You are certainly NOT obligated to send a gift.  However, if you are fond of the groom and/or know him personally, a note to the couple is a [...]

A Cautionary Tale

Dear Short Answers: My childhood friend has decided to marry a guy I don’t like. I think he holds her back and discourages all attempts at independence she makes. I’ve told her many times what I think but now that they’re engaged, I’ve stopped complaining and try to be supportive. I was polite and very [...]

Whose Party is it?

Dear Short Answers: I recently got engaged and I’m quickly finding out that planning a wedding is as much about satisfying family members’ desires as it is your own. How do I say “no” to them? Bride2B Dear 2B: You can’t please all the people all the time. Decide now — is this your wedding, [...]

Cookoo Clock

Dear Short Answers: One of my best friends has started to talk endlessly about her wedding. She seems to be planning all the details and has even picked out a dress. She has asked her girlfriends to be bridesmaids and talked to a caterer about the food. The problem is that she isn’t engaged (we’re [...]

Just Say It

Dear Short Answers: Now that gay marriage is legal in NY, everyone I know thinks that my partner and I should get married.  But for us, it won’t really matter until the Federal government recognizes gay marriage and the Federal laws change. How do we tell our friends and family that we appreciate the great [...]

For Richer or Poorer, Fatter or Thin

Dear Short Answers: Ever since we got engaged, my girlfriend has gotten fatter and fatter and fatter. If I even hint at this, she goes beserk and threatens to call off the wedding. I’m tempted to call her bluff because I would be humiliated to walk down the aisle with this bigger, fatter, grotesque version [...]

Going to The Chapel of Love

Dear Short Answers: My nephew is getting married in Pittsburgh (hometown of his wife-to-be), which is a long haul for many of his relatives and other out of town guests. His wife-to-be has an enormous family in Pittsburgh. There are going to be 250 people at the wedding, most of them local. It is a [...]

Voting with your Checkbook

Dear Short Answers: My daughter is 20 years old. My wife and I (mostly me) told her that when she got married, we would write her a check for $25,000 and she could do anything with it that she wanted. But mostly, I want her to invest it, save it, use it for a house. [...]

Nice Niece vs Not Nice

Dear Short Answers: My 48 year old niece has been planning her big-deal first wedding this October for over a year. Her older sister, married three times, told her that she and her boyfriend of three months want to get married in September. The younger niece feels usurped and has asked for my help in [...]